I was walking down the street one night, taking my arsenal to the gun amnesty at the police station, when I saw two scruffy cunts mugging an old woman at the bus stop. Fuck that shit, I thought; dirty bastards, world would be better off without them.

"Oi, bellends," I shouted. One of them turned towards me. Before they could react, I pulled out my AK and machine-gunned both their kneecaps. The old woman stood, white as a ghost, frozen to the spot. I walked over to the bloody scene.

"Right, give me your purse," I said to the bruised elderly lady. She handed it over. Must've been too shocked to think, or something. Stupid bitch.

"Now scram," I commanded. She began to hobble away, giving a wide berth to the moaning, crippled muggers. I let her get a few yards away before rushing her and taking her to the ground with a rugby tackle. I heard her chin crack against the unforgiving pavement, and when I stood up, she was out cold.

"And you two," I hissed, pointing at the dirty pikies. They tried to shuffle away, but were in two much pain to move. It became increasingly apparent that one guy's leg had been blown off from the gunfire, and his stump was pissing blood. "Give me your fucking wallets."

They didn't seem in any obliging state, far too preoccupied with their multiple lower body gunshot wounds - pussies - so I pounced on one, pulled out my switchblade, and began sawing through this guy's head, first through his windpipe (to much gurgling) and then through his spine, completely severing his head from his body. The second guy had managed to crawl a short distance in this time, and I marched over to him, put my gun against the back of his neck, and pulled the trigger.

He did a lot of gurgling, too, and blood began coming out of his mouth and filling up his lungs. I looked at this with mild interest. Dirty fucker. He deserves all he gets - they both do.

I went over to the two bodies and fleeced them for cash. I then proceeded to the quietly moaning elderly woman.

"Wake up," I shouted. She moaned slightly louder. I pulled her out of the middle of the road by her arms, towards the pavement.

"Bite the kerb," I said, pulling her face towards it and pressing my AK to the back of her shrivelled head. She bit the kerb.

"Now say goodnight," I snarled, jumping on the dirty fucker's skull.

http://earfetish.abortedfoetus.com

I waddled to Brian. He had just finished His final hilarious musical number and was busily screaming and moaning on the cross. His hands dribbled congealed blood, His legs were stained with the last shit He'll ever do, He was gasping and choking for air, trying to twist His aching arms away from the punishing lumber, and yank the nails out, but He was in too much agony, too weak, to summon the strength.

His death sentence made me uneasy. Brian didn't deserve to die; He was the most honourable and decent chap you'd ever meet. Far be it from me to overrule Pontius Pilate, and rescue Him, though, much as I'd rather Pilate was pinned up to die rather than my good friend Brian, I was kind of pleased it wasn't me. I'd been following Him for years - I loved Him.

I pulled down His pants and took His holy cock in my hand. It was already reaching semi-on status and it only took a few soft tugs to become rock-solid. I longed to slide it into my anus like we did in the blissful past, sharing intimate and tender moments of casual anal sex in the temples and thanking God for every thrust, but that was a distant memory; and sorrow swarmed into my confused brain when I refreshed it; I'd never get to share such a moment with Him again.

Brian's eyes flickered open and He glanced down at me masturbating Him. "Oh, Judas, thanks so much, oh yes Judas," He moaned softly. I continued to toss Him off, His slippery penis made my hands sticky, His granite erection trembling with anticipation. I started to cry, dark tears welling in my eyes, trying to console myself with Brian's teachings. There is bliss after death, I told myself; there is happiness beyond anything imaginable, but it just seems so unfair that Brian would have to go through a crucifixion to appreciate it. Maybe there was some greater purpose to this, maybe His daddy has a plan; maybe His bodily juices would cleanse all our sins.

"I'm coming," Brian muttered, half to me and half to the Heavens. I put my mouth over His greasy dick and gave it a final suck, before He finally shot His magical seeds of immortality in my mouth. I took His cock out and watched His semen streaking towards me, splattering across my face. I'd accepted His warm love into my heart, and anointed my forehead with His warmer love.

I grabbed a spear propped up next to His cross and shoved it in His side mid-climax. Blood flooded from His wound, draining into the sand, and He died in euphoric homoerotic sexual ecstasy.

http://earfetish.abortedfoetus.com

I put my hand into your pram and pull out your baby by its neck. It looks stupidly at me, its eyes unfocussed, its shrivelled pumpkin-head still, its body wriggling a little bit underneath. It doesn't seem too bothered by its position; but that might be because it's not breathing particularly well and already realises that crying would be a foolish mistake.

I grab its feet with my free hand and wrench downwards. I feel your baby's skull separate from its neck in a neat internal decapitation, watch it die instantly in my hands as its body springs up again, and then pull down even harder. I want to tear its fucking head off while it's still warm and still twitchy.

I stab it in its throat with my Swiss army knife and tear across it like a piece of rotten fabric. I tug again, ripping through the remaining skin and cartilage, and throw its decapitated body on the floor like a discarded sweet wrapper.

My jeans are already around my ankles, my penis already rock-solid, and it's a very neat fit into your baby's windpipe. Its trachea convulses still, it's brain not dead enough to give up on life, squeezing my bell-end in moist, bloody gasps. I fuck it deep and hard, my cock reaches the top of its face and bursts through into its cranium; I poke its still-living grey matter with my trembling cock.

I turn its head around to look into its vacuous eyes. I want to rip through the top of its skull, my hard-on bursting through and ejaculating like a glorious volcano. Innocent blood drips down my legs from the severed head, me laughing at its stupid toothless naïve grin, ripping its windpipe apart with violent thrusts and turning its insides into mush.

I feel myself coming. It feels totally lifeless now, its brain too oxygen-starved and too cock-penetrated to bother. I fuck it faster and faster and fill its mind with my warm, life-bringing jism, hoping that I've cum all over its memories of you.

I hold it up triumphantly, my sticky semen coagulating with his blood and falling out in lumps of strawberry ice cream. I toss his head next to his body and stamp on it - brain and blood and bones and semen streak over the floor and up my leg - and piss off back home to smoke a fag.

http://earfetish.abortedfoetus.com

http://earfetish.abortedfoetus.com