00:00
00:00
Earfetish
how are you gentlemen

Age 36, Male

wasteman

Manchester, UK

Joined on 10/21/02

Level:
43
Exp Points:
19,649 / 20,530
Exp Rank:
959
Vote Power:
8.37 votes
Rank:
Police Lieutenant
Global Rank:
5,404
Blams:
953
Saves:
707
B/P Bonus:
14%
Whistle:
Gold
Medals:
830
Supporter:
2y 5m 3d

OH, NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO BE OFFENSIVE

Posted by Earfetish - September 28th, 2007


I waddled to Brian. He had just finished His final hilarious musical number and was busily screaming and moaning on the cross. His hands dribbled congealed blood, His legs were stained with the last shit He'll ever do, He was gasping and choking for air, trying to twist His aching arms away from the punishing lumber, and yank the nails out, but He was in too much agony, too weak, to summon the strength.

His death sentence made me uneasy. Brian didn't deserve to die; He was the most honourable and decent chap you'd ever meet. Far be it from me to overrule Pontius Pilate, and rescue Him, though, much as I'd rather Pilate was pinned up to die rather than my good friend Brian, I was kind of pleased it wasn't me. I'd been following Him for years - I loved Him.

I pulled down His pants and took His holy cock in my hand. It was already reaching semi-on status and it only took a few soft tugs to become rock-solid. I longed to slide it into my anus like we did in the blissful past, sharing intimate and tender moments of casual anal sex in the temples and thanking God for every thrust, but that was a distant memory; and sorrow swarmed into my confused brain when I refreshed it; I'd never get to share such a moment with Him again.

Brian's eyes flickered open and He glanced down at me masturbating Him. "Oh, Judas, thanks so much, oh yes Judas," He moaned softly. I continued to toss Him off, His slippery penis made my hands sticky, His granite erection trembling with anticipation. I started to cry, dark tears welling in my eyes, trying to console myself with Brian's teachings. There is bliss after death, I told myself; there is happiness beyond anything imaginable, but it just seems so unfair that Brian would have to go through a crucifixion to appreciate it. Maybe there was some greater purpose to this, maybe His daddy has a plan; maybe His bodily juices would cleanse all our sins.

"I'm coming," Brian muttered, half to me and half to the Heavens. I put my mouth over His greasy dick and gave it a final suck, before He finally shot His magical seeds of immortality in my mouth. I took His cock out and watched His semen streaking towards me, splattering across my face. I'd accepted His warm love into my heart, and anointed my forehead with His warmer love.

I grabbed a spear propped up next to His cross and shoved it in His side mid-climax. Blood flooded from His wound, draining into the sand, and He died in euphoric homoerotic sexual ecstasy.

http://earfetish.abortedfoetus.com


Comments

DUDE. That was fantastic. You're a great writer.

great indeed

Level up.

I finally get a blade, wooh

Hot.

thanks g

that's deep man. real deep. it made be spout and erection and i used my tears as lube, as i thought about life. >:U

yes

Wait is your profile message thing from from that one movie?

"This is an interesting resume,it says hear you smoke weed everyday."

"All I do is smoke weed everyday of my life,I don't give fuck!""

That one?

it is indeed, that is correct

This needs to be put into audio format. Books On Tape: The Earfetish Sacrilege Collection, so that I can attach speakers to the top of my car and drive circles around anti-abortion protests letting them enjoy your fine writing.

roffel, thanks a lot, that would bring joy to my blackened heart

epic phail!

the Bible is wrong

FAP FAP FAP

lol gay

one time in Corinthea, Brian pulled out and I farted and he gave a small gasp, and then giggled.

that was the day I was cured of my hemorrhoids

that must have been when Brian first felt the holy ghost

Oh my fucking god.
Epic on so many levels, that I'm completly speechless.

Please, please continue writing.

pimp pimp

i read this already! >:(

o no

YOOO GOENA BURRRRRN IN HELLLLLLLLLLLL

Not really. Fantastic work.

woo

Can you please make a longer post that everyone will read?

<sarcasm/>

can you please send me some of your adderall

Dude, the most memorable story I've seen you tell was the one about the guy who fucked a goose.
I felt like shit because I felt my dick twitch, but I beat it down and suppressed any goose fucking thoughts.
How you almost make a completely straight man a bestiality guy, I'll never know

everyone wants to fuck geese really